Growing in our ability to care
We are enjoying the seven grandchildren that have been born in the last five years. It has provided me with many opportunities to see how many different people have stepped in to assist after the birth of a child. Some have been incredibly helpful, and I have learned from their thoughtfulness. Every person who has offered help has given graciously and generously, but I also believe that we can all grow in our ability to minister well.
Although there are many ways to help, the primary way that we help a family with a new little one is by bringing a meal, so I want to focus on things to consider when you bring a meal.
1. Do you know of any allergies or dietary restrictions they need to follow? If you know they eat gluten-free, dairy-free, Paleo, GAPS and you really don't know how to cook that way, use the internet to find some recipes that meet their restrictions. (Pinterest is a wonderful source! Be sure to read the comments section and look for dishes that have rave reviews by people who have actually made the food.)
You want to not only make a meal, but make sure it is something they can actually eat!! If you are organizing meals for the family, ask about their restrictions and things they like/dislike. 2. Are there other children? Make sure the foods you bring are likely to appeal to children. This is not the time to make a gourmet meal that appeals primarily to adults. (Or make something just for the children.)
3. If you can, it is thoughtful to bring something that they could use for lunch or breakfast with little effort. (Think: muffins or fresh fruit) A trip to the grocery store can be difficult for a new mom. You might even consider volunteering ahead of time to pick something up at the store. If you want to go an extra mile, offer to run an errand for them. It's most helpful if you say "I'm going to be at such and such a place. Can I pick up anything for you?" Some moms take awhile before they are up and running around.
4. Make arrangements ahead of time (day before via email or text) regarding when you are delivering the meal, so mom can rest. This is not the time to take all afternoon texting her to set up arrangements.
5. A short visit when delivering a meal is appropriate, but a long stay is not. I remember as a young mom loving having someone stop by, but crying when they left, because I was so tired by their visit. And please, as much as you want to spend time with them, don't join them for dinner and leave them with extra clean up!
6. Be extra careful that you are healthy and not pass something on to the family! If need be, switch meal times with some else.
7. If there are other children, make sure you give them as some special attention. A small new toy or book is always appreciated, or offer to read them a book or play with them a few minutes.
8. Even if Grandma is in town, it is still appropriate to bring a meal. She is probably cooking ahead for the family, caring for other children, and caring for the household chores. Your assistance allows her to be even more helpful.
9. There are so may wonderful online services that make it easy to organize even a large group of people to sign up to bring meals. It is extremely helpful to indicate what you are bringing (even if it is the last minute), that way you can assure that the family does not get a spaghetti casserole three nights in a row.
I know the blessing it has been to our sons and their wives! And here's hoping our sons provide others with more opportunities to minister to their families. Well, you can't blame a grandma, can you?
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